Total Drama Gurl Tour Part 5
EPISODES 1-3 http://gurl-time.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Gurl_Tour_Part_1 EPISODES 4-6 http://gurl-time.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Gurl_Tour_Part_2 EPISODES 7-9 http://gurl-time.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Gurl_Tour_Part_3 EPISODES 10-12 http://gurl-time.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Gurl_Tour_Part_4 EPISODES 13-15 http://gurl-time.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Gurl_Tour_Part_5 Team Amazon --- MightyMewtron Heather Gwen Courtney Sierra Cody Duncan Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot --- CoGreen2.0 Alejandro Noah Tyler Owen Izzy Team Victory --- GleekGurlJerks Leshawna Lindsay Bridgette DJ Ezekiel Harold Pinkie At The Hanging Gleek Chris: Last time,..... I have no idea what happened. *episode starts*  (Team Victory won. First class)   Ezekiel: (is getting a shoulder rub) Man... ... I like first class and all.. but after what happened... Poor Court, eh. LeShawna: Yeah. The poor girl was too drunk to think straight. Bridgette: Why would someone even (glaring at LeShawna) switch the drinks, anyway?  Ezekiel: Yeah. Who does that shiz, yo?  Bridgette: Jerks. --> Bridgette: Like LeShawna! I thought she was so nice...but this show has turned her into a complete who- (cut off)  (Economy Class, Team Chris and Team Amazon)   Noah: (Alejandro is away. Noah is alone with Duncan, Courtney and Gwen) ...   Courtney: (to Duncan) I still don't understand. Where did Ella find you? Duncan: I've been all over. I happened to be in the area at one point, she took me over, and she offered me compensation for the whole Ripper thing. I just didn't realize I'd have to WIN it on this stupid show. Courtney: (hugs him) Well, I'm glad you're back. ....cause I'm shaping you into the perfect father.   Noah: (is idly watching) Oooohhh.....  Duncan: Wha- Court, it isn't my baby.... Gwen: (to Noah) This is going to get ugly...   Noah: (sarcasm) You think? Courtney: I know. But Alejandro will compensate. We'll just do the parenting.   Chris: And we'll save this juicy conversation for the OUTBACK! (teleports them all to Australia) Chris: (emus walk out) Take the emus, ride them to Hanging Rock. GO!   LeShawna: (gets on her emu) I've rode men before. I haven't ridden an emu! Bridgette: (gets on hers) Try not to break its back!  Alejandro: (smirks and leaps over to a emu) Hola, pajaro bonito. (The emu f***ing purrs)  --> LeShawna: Whoa, Bridgette just called me fat, didn't she? What is her problem? I thought we were friends!   Noah: Ugh... Creep much? (runs after a wild emu) Gwen: (chases the emu. It kicks her in the face.) (An emu pecks Duncan.)  Emu: Come at me bro. -3-   Duncan: AUGH! WHY IS IT PECKING ME?! Courtney: Your piercings are shiny. Duncan: (grabs the emu's neck) (Duncan mounts his emu. It runs off with him.)  Alejandro: (catches up to Bridgette) Bridgette! Hi. Ezekiel: (still chasing his emu) Come back, eh!   Bridgette: Alejandro, hey! Thanks for the tip about LeShawna. She's definitely the next one to go.  Alejandro: Ah. You, are a true woman of justice.  Bridgette: (blushes) Thank you. --> Bridgette: Can I forgive Al for what he did to Courtney? No. (blushes) ....not really...  Noah: (ends up next to Duncan) Yeah Yeah. Let me guess, you're here to chide me on last elimination, huh?   Duncan: Maybe. What's it to you?   Noah: With Iz gone, not much people I can rely on left in the game. (mumbles) Or open up to. Noah: No offense. Noah: Allow me to rephrase. I THOUGHT I could rely on her. But she tried eating your daughter.   Duncan: Yeah, you're pretty much screwed. Don't worry. I'll make sure to kick your butt later. Duncan: ....and that isn't my daughter, or son, or whatever it is.   Noah: .... You serious? I mean... Courtney's your gal? Right?   Duncan: You don't think I'd actually stick with Courtney on that, would you? It's not my baby. Duncan: I like Courtney, but it was her mistake.   Noah: So what? You're just gonna leave her with a baby!?  Duncan: Hey, it isn't my fault. I know how to handle her safely. Alejandro didn't. Don't push that onto ME. Duncan: Just don't let her know. I'll stay with her for the next eight and a half months, then I'm out of here. (He hightails it)   Noah: Woah... Shame on me for assuming you had a shred of integrity. (rides off) Courtney: (sees an emu) There we go.... --> Courtney: The good thing is, wtih Ella demoted, I don't have to worry about feeling stifled anymore. The bad news is, sometimes I need to be stifled a little. (rubs her stomach) Like when chasing down a vicious bird that can peck me from the inside out...(gulps)  Ezekiel: (finally gets on an emu just as Courtney gets on hers) Hey! Court!   Courtney: Oh, hey, homeschool!  Ezekiel: (rides alongside her) You need help? Not bein sexist... and all... ---> Ezekiel: Everyone still thinks I'm immature and sexist and stuff. But after some stuff went down... I kind of feel bad for all that, eh.  Courtney: Thanks for the concern, but I'm fine. I've gotten onto this bird, so it should be smooth sailing from here, right? (The emu bolts off) CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA   Ezekiel: (giggles) Okay. Bye! LeShawna: Hey, is Bridgette acting different to you? Like, really mean? Gwen: She hasn't done much to me. LeShawna: Because she's being pretty harsh towards me now. I don't get why. Gwen: Since when? LeShawna: For about a week. Gwen: ...you think it has anything to do with Courtney? LeShawna: What? How? I didn't do anything to the poor girl. Gwen: Hmm. Maybe I'll talk with her later.   Chris: Welcome to the HANGING ROCK! (Gwen and Leshawna arrive) Get off those emus! Chris: Wait for your teams to arrive. Then once your whole team is here, you may start the challenge!  (They do that) Gwen: ...so, now what do we do?  (Alejandro and Bridgette arrive)   LeShawna: We can just kind of chill. Gwen: (to LeShawna) You want to talk to Bridgette? LeShawna: You should. She ain't mad at you. (Gwen walks over to Bridgette) Gwen: Hey, Bridge?  Alejandro: (whispers to Bridgette) Leshawna's been talking to Gwen. Be careful.   Bridgette: (getting off the emu) Oh....hey, Gwen. Gwen: So, LeShawna said you've been kind of harsh to her. Why is that? Did you have a falling out? Bridgette: (glances at LeShawna...then at Alejandro) It's complicated. All I can say is I know what she did, and it's despicable to go that far for your own personal gain. Bridgette: I don't want to talk about it anymore.  (Duncan arrives)  --> Gwen: Weird. LeShawna went too far doing something? What could that mean?   Alejandro: Where could that mangy termite be? (referring to Noah)  Duncan: (smirks) Looks like the Amazons have all arrived.   Chris: And you may begin! (gestures to bungee cord) Leap down, grab sheep, shear them, try to get sheep with your team's mark. GO! Chris: IF Team Amazon was all here... which they aren;t,. (Courtney arrives) Nevermind.   Duncan: There you are, Princess. How was the ride? Courtney: ...(barfs on Duncan's shoes)  (Noah arrives)  --> Duncan: SEE WHY I DON'T LIKE PARENTHOOD?! YOU SEE?!  Noah: Such a precious couple. (gets off emu)  Duncan: (pulls him aside) Not one word.  Noah: Hmm. (goes to Al) (Zeke has arrived) Chris: Everyone is here!  Duncan: Alright. Now for some jumping.  Noah: (hooks the bungee cord to Alejandro) You're all set.   Courtney: Chris, you want ME to BUNGEE JUMP?! I'm expecting! Chris: I'm expecting too... RATINGS!!! Now get to it.  Noah: (gives a thumbs up to Duncan as he unstraps Alejandro) ---> Noah: I may dislike Duncan, but Al still needs to go.  Duncan: (to himself) Oh, this is going to be awesome... Alejandro: (leaps off......... slams into the sheep pile) AYUDA!!!   Duncan: (hooks himself up) Court, got the shears? Courtney: (hold up shears) Ready. (Duncan jumps and returns with nothing)   Noah: (sits down and begins reading) My work here is done.  Duncan: Stupid sheep, they're hard to grab! (goes again)   Ezekiel: (straps himself to the bungee cord and jumps. He misses)   Duncan: (sees Al) How's it going, Ale-BAA-dro?   Alejandro: (waves fist) Gwen: You got in your zinger. (takes Duncan's harness when he comes back up) Now it's my turn. (straps in)  ---> Alejandro: Noah? A game thrower? Someone just became enemy number one. (cracks knuckles)  (Gwen jumps. She gets a sheep.) Gwen: (throws it to Courtney) Shear this thing!  (Leshawna jumps and gets a sheep)  LeShwana: Yeah! (gives it to Bridgette) Now shear that baby! Bridgette: (turns on the shears and stares at LeShawna) Hold it together, Bridgette... (directs the shears to the sheep)  Noah: (still reading)  Gwen: (to Noah) Oh, you're not doing this again.  Alejandro: (now in a lot of pain) Grrrrrrr........ .... (clenches his fist) That does it. (begins crawling)  Courtney: (has finished on the sheep) Nothing! Bridgette: (has finished the sheep) Nothing!   Noah: (looks up) Actually, I'm glad you came to talk to me.   Gwen: Why are you throwing the game? Al's going to gun for you. You're basically screwing yourself up.   Noah: (closes the book) Well, then maybe you should be throwing the challenge. Noah: After all... Al's not the only one at fault here.  Gwen: Wha...you're right. I could have stopped her. Gwen: But that's different. I mean, Courtney was too out of her mind.   Noah: (shakes his head) Not you. (points to Duncan as he jumps) Noah: You think you deserve to go after what YOU did? Guess what Duncan has in store for Court?  Gwen: What do you mean?   Alejandro: Something that can't be as bad as what I'll do to you! (Alejandro crawled his way up the hanging rock)   Gwen: RUN, NOAH, RUN!   Noah: .... How did you?...   Alejandro: (stands up and shoves the bungee cord at Noah) I'm PERFECT, remember? (shoves Noah off the cliff, he clings to the cord)  --> Gwen: What would Duncan do to Courtney? I thought they liked each other....today, at least. Courtney: (straps herself in) (to herself) Where is Ella where I need her?   Noah: (shoots back up with no sheep) Your turn. (Al shoves him off the cliff again)   --> Courtney: This stupid baby is making me soft! I'm not going to be held reponsible for the non-birth of a child! (Courtney jumps and returns with a sheep)   Noah: (flies back up with no sheep) I can't grab em. Let's switch! (Al grabs him by the shirt)   Duncan: (grabs the shears) Time for a little haircut, sheep! (shaves it...nothing) Aw, come on!   AL: Listen you snotty, useless, queer. I will turn you into a sack of mutilated meat if you don't get your ass in check. GOT IT! (throws him off the cliff again) Alejandro: (turns to see Ezekiel overheard that) What are YOU looking at!? (Zeke scurries away)  Bridgette: ....Queer? --> Bridgette: Okay, I don't care that he gave me that tip. Now LeShawna AND Alejandro are on the list! .....Well, I don't have a list, but still!   Ezekiel: (stands next to Bridgette while Leshawna jumps) .... Hey Bridge... what's "queer" mean? Bridgette: It means homosexual. It's NOT the kind of thing you insult someone with.  Ezekiel: Cause... I heard Al say that to Noah. ... You heard it too, eh?   Bridgette: Yeah.  (Only Bridgette and Ezekiel heard) Noah: (flies back up with a sheep) Here's your stupid sheep, Al. (Al backhands Noah off the cliff and takes the sheep)  Gwen: (jumps and returns with a sheep)  Alejandro: (sheers his sheep) Almost there!  Duncan: (shaves the sheep) So are we, loser! Duncan: (shaves the sheep) ....where the hell is it?! Gwen: (on the other side) Gwen: Um, Duncan? Duncan: Yeah? (She turns around the sheep....it's the Amazon logo) Alejandro: Lucky... (sheers his sheep, revealing a logo as well) Noah: (facepalms himself)   LeShawna: Aw, man! (Bridgette glares)   ---> Noah: (wiping away tears) ... ... I wanted to lose. I don't care if I lose a tiebreaker against Al... he'd be a team of one and then... maybe go home... (sniffles) Ugh. Noah: Damn it. Alejandro: Que? Noah: You heard me. DAMN! How do you keep surviving in this game? Alejandro: (stands up) ...   Gwen: (gasp)   Noah: You... are the WORST! Who the **** invited you on this show!? Why the **** aren't the censors dragging your sorry ass off this god forsaken show! Courtney: (cheers) YES! Knock that sorry son of a b**** down the cliff! Alejandro: (looks pissed. He then backhands Noah off the cliff again)  (crunch) Courtney: NOAH!  Gwen: NOAH!  Courtney: Is he okay?! Bridgette: I'm pretty sure he broke something.   Ella: (runs out with medic supplies) I'll handle it!  Courtney: ELLA! Elimination Chris: Noah is in the infirmary... Chris: Not like I care. He brings no drama here. (shrugs) And neither do any of you losers.  Bridgette: I hope he's okay. He doesn't deserve a broken bone....he doesn't. LeShawna: (gulps)   Chris: So... cast your votes and send a sorry packer packing. Chris: Let's see.... a barf bag for .. Ezekiel? (tosses Ezekiel a barf bag) And the final bag for.... ... .. . Bridgette.   Bridgette: (takes her bag with glee)   Chris: Sorry Leshawna. You're out! Can't understand why though.  LeShawna: What?! Bridgette: Next time, don't try to get people drunk for sex!  Ezekiel: (gasps) eh!? LeShawna: Girl, WHAT are you talking about?! Bridgette: I know what you did! Alejandro told me! You switched the beer and cider to get Al drunk so you could have intercourse with him! And that's terrible. LeShawna: Are you kidding me? I wasn't anywhere near the bottles! I liked Alejandro's fine ass and all that, but he's a jerk for what he did to Courtney. Bridgette: But...Al said...   Ezekiel: You... listened to Al?  LeShawna: Why didn't you tell me?! Bridgette: He told me not to bring it up. LeShawna: And that isn't suspicious to you? Alejandro's a jerk, remember? Why did we even fall for him? ....oh yeah, sweet ass. Chris: This is all heartwarming and all... but ,... (shoves Leshawna off the plane and hands her a parachute) Try not to end up like Noah!  Bridgette: Wait! Who switched the bottles?  Chris: THAT'S ALL! BYE! Sweet N Sassy Chris: Last time on TOTAL DRAMA GURL TOUR! Our gurls got outfited for sass in the outback. They rode emus to a bungee cliff and sheered some sheep. Noah was knocked off a cliff by Alejandro. Bridgette voted off Leshawna. Duncan's planning something and Courtney is still pregnant! WATCH MORE Ella: (is serving scones) Eat up.  Courtney: Thanks you, Ella. (eating scones and talking to Duncan) So, we're going to need to set up a nursery at my house. Duncan: Wait, I'm moving in with you? Courtney: Well, yeah. A child needs a male figure in his or her life. You may not be the best role model, but you're still a good protector. (kisses him on the nose)--> Duncan: I can't live with Courtney! I can't take care of a kid! I love her, but I don't love that child right now, because it's going to suck the life out of our lives. That's what my parents told ME. Ella: (gasps) OH!!! Gwen: (averts her eyes) (Economy Class, Noah is sitting with Ezekiel and Bridgette. His arm is in a cast. Alejandro is on the other side of the room)  Bridgette: (is sad) I can't believe I fell for Al's lies. LeShawna may have been a bit slutty, but she was still a good friend.  Noah: (pats Bridgette on the back with her non-broken arm) Be careful. Who knows what other lies he's spread.  Bridgette: Good point. (points to his arm) So how long do you need to wear that?  Noah: Eh... a few weeks. Just a fracture... Ezekiel: JUST a fracture, eh!?  Bridgette: It really bites that Alejandro did that to you. He's a real jerk. Incredibly handsome, but a jerk.  Ezekiel: I agree, Bridge! (Alejandro glances at the three from across the room) ---> Alejandro: I must rethink my strategy. I lost Bridgette. Noah, Gwen, Courtney, and Duncan are not going to be on my side anytime soon... but ... Ezekiel. (smirks) (TELEPORT TO SWEDEN) Chris: HELLO! Build something with this! (throws wood at them)  Duncan: Wood, huh? Reminds you of Cody, eh, Gwen? Gwen: (ignores) Noah: With an arm like this? Doubtful. Alejandro: (grabs a plank of wood and points it at Noah) You'll do this challenge regardless of your clumsly injury! It's probably not that bad. Gays are so overdramatic. (Noah gasps)  Bridgette: (seeths) Gwen: (grabs the planks and talks to Duncan) So...how do you feel about Courtney's condition? Duncan: (shrugs) Her mistake. I'm glad it wasn't my fault, but still ready to get Alejandro the minute he turns his back.  Noah: If i had the ability to take you down, trust me I would.  Alejandro: But... you don';t. (tosses wood at him) Catch. (He can't. It sends Noah to the ground)  Gwen: But....you're going to be there for her, right?  Noah: (limps past them) Don't get your hopes up, kiddo. Duncan: (glares at Noah) Let's just focus on the challenge. --> Duncan: Noah's going to make me look bad in front of Courtney. I can sense it. If it weren't for the whole "mutual hatred" and "already crippled" thing, I would kick his butt. ---> Noah: I'm kind of gambling. Would Duncan go as far as to assualt an already crippled kid? Maybe... I can push his limits today. Courtney: So, what do we build?  Ezekiel: (begins building) Woo!  Bridgette: Zeke, you got it? --> Bridgette: So now we're a two person team, too. (sigh) Hopefully, Zeke will be a good partner.  Alejandro: (is looking at the pieces) This doesn't make any sense... Alejandro: (yells at Noah) Are you just gonna zit there and be useles!? Noah: (ignores) I dunno. I tried falling and being useless. (points to the cast) Worked like a charm.  Gwen: (to Courtney) How is he the other half of your child? (Courtney shrugs)  Ezekiel: Wow Bridge! (holds up a large wooden board) This board looks like it could be surfed on, eh! (gives Bridgette idea)  Bridgette: That's it! We can make wooden surfboards! (to Zeke) But,...can you surf?  Ezekiel: ... You could teach me. ---> Ezekiel: (cheering) YES!  Bridgette: (giggling) It's not something you learn in a day.  Ezekiel: You're smart. You could think of something. Maybe we can build a boat?  Bridgette: (smiles) Yeah, a boat would work. Good plan, Zeke. You're thinking on your feet.  Ezekiel: (doesn't get the lingo) I think with my head, Bridge... (starts building) ..hehe.... thinking with feet.  Bridgette: (rolls her eyes) Courtney: (overheard them) A boat, huh? (smirks)  Ezekiel: (moves around to the other side and starts building. He runs into Alejandro) Alejandro: Hola, amigo. Whatcha making? Ezekiel: As if I'd tell you, eh! (Alejandro glares... it's scary) Eh!! ... A boat! (runs off) ---> Alejandro: I can't seduce Zeke. I wouldn't stoop that low. Who am I? Noah?  Bridgette: (facepalms) Don't tell him that!  Ezekiel: Sooory...  Bridgette: ....(hits Alejandro in the face with a plank of wood)  Alejandro: GAH! (looks to Noah) Is there a splinter in my face!? Noah: (picks up a small splinter of wood... and sticks it in Al's face) There is one now. Alejandro: (shoves Noah off the wood where he was sitting) Imbecile.  Courtney: (to her team) Guys, we need to build a boat! Duncan: (smiles) The mommy-in-training's got (One hour later) Chris: YOU ALL BUILT BOATS!!! >:( You were supposed to get it wrong!  Courtney: We were too smart for you, McLean. (smirks)  Chris: -3- Now ride those boats to shore. (sets a bomb that blows up the ice)  Gwen: Chris! Stop destroying the habitat!  (Alejandro leaps into his boat. Noah can't climb on because of his broken arm. The ice is breaking)  Noah: Ugh.. Al.. a little help!? Alejandro: I don't know... what can I gain from having someone like you on my ship? Noah: Are you being serious? (Alejandro shrugs and hoists the sail. His ships leaves Noah in the water) Noah: Ugh.. crap... (unenthusiastically) Help... help.. oh god... help. (Team Amazon's boat passes next to Noah) Noah: (is actually drowning because of his arm. Now he's serious) AUGH! Actually help!!!  Gwen: Noah! Courtney: What do we do?! Noah: You SAVE the drowning man! THAT's what you do!  Noah: I AM! Drowning! What do you people not get abo(sinks) Ezekiel: (is on a surfboard clinging to Bridgette. They're far away from Noah) Oh no!  Gwen: We gotta do something!!(dives in and brings him on ship) Courtney: Someone give him mouth to mouthNOTIT! Gwen: NOT IT!  Noah: (opens his eyes just as Duncan begins performing CPR) AUGH! I have better standards than this! (pushes Duncan off)  Duncan: Oh, thank God!  Gwen: (crouches down) Are you okay, Noah? Noah: I'm not usually picky on who saves my life... but in this case I'm VERY picky. (barfs overboard) Courtney: You may as well ride with us. (smirks) Alejandro won't be able to win without his other team member...  Noah: I'm all for sabotaging Al.  Duncan: And so are we. Welcome to Team Anti-Al Amazon, shrimp. Noah: Not bad. (looks around the ship) So.. speaking of the actual devil, where is that eel? (looks around the waters and sees al far off at a dock with Chris) Dock --- (Alejandro is given canonballs by Chris and a viking helmet) Alejandro: Gracias Chris. (leaps into his ship and sails) Chris: Anything for my favorite drama creator. Chef: Dat boi is hot. -3- Chris: O.o Ezekiel: (is clinging to Bridgette as she surfs) ThisisterrifyingwhydoyoudothisforalibvingwhyBridge?Why!?  Bridgette: Just stay calm. Let the water guide you.  Ezekiel: WATER CAN'T THINK!!! (cries)  Bridgette: Zeke. Calm down.  Ezekiel: (takes a deep breath) Okay... I'll let the water gu(they crash onto the dock. Chris doesn't have room to put a cannon on their surfboard. He sends them to the buoy with the flag) (TEAM AMAZON) Courtney: Alejandro is at the dock! WE! HAVE! TO! MOVE! Duncan: Alrighty, Cap'n. (said sarcastically) Courtney: (to Gwen) How's the stowaway? Gwen: Noah... (whispers) Last challenge, when you had two arms to use, you were saying something about Duncan. What was it? Noah: Oh yeah... (glances at Duncan, he's with Courtney) Duncan's not what he seems..... Noah: Wait... he's EXACTLY what he seems! A selfish jerk. Gwen: (rolls her eyes) Not exactly news. But what does that have to do with Courtney? Noah: He's not gonna take care of Courtney. We had a talk and he told me he's planning on ditching Court just before she births the baby. Gwen: (gasps) (glares at Duncan) I'll be right back. Noah: (waves to Gwen) Bring me a souvenir! Gwen: (to Duncan) So...you and Courtney getting along? Duncan: (smiles at Courtney. She smiles back) Other than the hormones, yes. Gwen: Nice....COURTNEYTAKETHEWHEEL. (drags Duncan over to Noah) 0Duncan: Gwen, what's your problem?  Gwen: Here's your souvenir.  Gwen: So....are you planning on becoming a good father? Duncna: Well, it isn't my kid, but sure.  Noah: (scoffs) You're so full of it.  Noah: Why is it I'm the only one that sees this crap?  Gwen: In retrospect, you haven't exactly been enthusiastic with all the work coming with the child...  Duncan: (scoffs) Hey, I'm here now! She's a strong girl, she has everything planned out. I like her, but I don't like what's growing inside of her.  Noah: So let me get this straight before I jump to conclusions....  Noah: Your girlfriend for a year, your very very LOYAL girlfriend is pregnant. RAPED if I may add. And you're just gonna ditch her? Leave her alone with this baby? And to add onto that... you weren't even gonna tell her that you would leave her... it was just gonna... naturally happen, am I right?  Duncan: I guess. I mean, it wasn't my mistake. I'VE been careful with her. I'M not going to be held responsible for Alejandro's doing! Boyfriend or no boyfriend. Courtney: (from the wheel...has overheard the last part) ....Is that so?  Noah: I would have preferred to do this long ago... with TWO good arms. But beggars can't be choosers. (punches Duncan in the jaw with his good arm)  Duncan: (falls) Are we docked yet?! Courtney: (they are at dock) Yep. (she leaves the wheel and hovers over him) And so are you. (steps on his chest)  Noah: Hey! (points at Duncan) .... F*** this challenge! This is serious! Don;'t you get it!? This is someone's LIFE!?... And I'm not just referring to Courtney!  Duncan: AUGH! DANG IT, COURT! It's not my doing! Why do I need to help? Courtney: Because YOU are my BOYFRIEND....or you were, at least.  Noah: This... is poetic justice. (leans over to Gwen) Am I being too harsh?  Duncan: You're dumping me? Over this baby? I did nothing! Stop trying to make it seem like it's my responsibility! Gwen: Nope. (pats his back) You're doing just fine.  Noah: Nevermind. Not harsh enough. *kicks Duncan*  Courtney: YES! (to Duncan) Next chance we get...you are so....E-LI-MI-NA-TED!  Gwen: ...OH LOOK IT'S CHRIS  Chris: Hey guys! ... ! Here's your cannonballs! Alejandro and Bridgette and Ezekiela re WAYYYYY ahead of you though. You might as well give up.  Courtney: Not likely. (takes a cannonball)  --> Courtney: I thought Duncan would be supportive. I thought he would care that I'm going through something that can ruin my life! And he's going to leave me?! (punches the wall)  ---> Noah: I swear, if I do win, I'll make a very generous donation to Courtney. Hell, she deserves that money more than all of us… Wow. I'm being way too nice. (points at camera) That means it's a limited time offer.  --> Gwen: Duncan was my friend. The fact he's doing such a dick move is really not fair. Duncan, if you're watching the rerun after your obvious elimination, f**k you.  Courtney: TO THE BOAT! Al is still our public enemy number one. (to Duncan) You're not on the triple A's anymore. You're just here for show.  Duncan: Whatever. Look, I'm sorry, but I can't handle this!  Noah: For once we agree. You CAN'T handle a baby.  Courtney: You can't even try? (to Gwen) Load the cannonballs. (Gwen loads a cannonball)  Gwen: Where are the other teams?! Duncan: Way ahead of us.  Alejandro: Try turning around. (sails by the Amazon's ship and lights a cannon at them)  (Team Amazon screams and the ball rips a hole through their sail)  Alejandro: I WAS gonna get the flag.... but this is so much more satisfying. (laughs and lights another one)  Courtney: ALEJANDRO! (to Gwen) DESTROY!  Noah: Dude are you cra-..Why am I even bothering asking anymore? Alejandro: (aims at the Amazon's hull)  Duncan: (to Al) You're dead meat, man!  Alejandro: (fires)  Courtney: (to Duncan) You are NOT off the hook, scumbag. Gwen: (fires back.)  Alejandro: (ducks. The cannonball hits his ship's mast as well. Both ships are immobile)  Gwen: Great. We're stuck here.  Alejandro: And even worse. (points to the flag) Ezekiel: (is sitting on the buoy with Bridgette holding the flag) WOO!!  Courtney: ...crud.  Chris: VICTORY WINS!!!! Chef: And dat boi *points to Al* Sucks.. but he's hot. -3-  Gwen: Well, one of us is going to elimination....KEEP SHOOTING!  Alejandro: *lights another cannonball* My last one! Make it last! Alejandro: *aims it... at Courtney*  (OH YOU BITCH)  Alejandro: *fires*  Noah: COURTNEY! LOOK OUT! *leaps in front of her* (crunch)  (OH MY SHITTAKE MUSHROOMS)  (second arm broken)  Gwen: Noah!  Noah: Dammit not AGAIN!  Duncan: (to Noah) This day sucks for both of us, doesn't it? (Noah kicks Duncan in the crotch from the ground)  (Noah is literately the Valjean of Total Drama Gurl tour)  Courtney: (crouches down) Thank you. (Courtney is the Fantine)  Noah: It's a freaki..ng baby... what was i s..upposed to do? Let it take (cringes) A cannonball? (passes out) --> Courtney: If he wasn't gay, I would consider Noah being this kid's live-in father. I mean, he's much more capable and considerate about it than Duncan. (seethes)  Alejandro: (puts his arms up innocently) Hey! The winds threw my aim off!  Gwen: Likely story. (fires the last cannonball at Al)  ---> Alejandro: I was trying to hit that queer loser! Noah....(smiles) I suceeded.  Alejandro: (takes a cannonball to the nuts)  Alejandro: AUGH!!!! MI PENE PEQUENO!!! OUCH!!!!  --> Gwen: (smirks) I took beginning Spanish. (snickers)  CHRIS: JOIN US NEXT TIME ON TDGT!!! Nia-Gurl Brawls Chris: Last time on TOTAL DRAMA GURL TOUR! Our cast got sassy when they beat up Duncan because he refuses tio raise a baby. -3- Dude sucks. (episode starts)  (First Class, Team Victory)  Bridgette: (is lying back in her chair)  Chris: TELEPORT! (everyone teleports to Niagara Falls Casino) Ezekiel: What!? (falls on the ground) OUCH! Hey!... I was enjoying that recliner! Chris: MERGE!  Gwen: The teams are together now? Courtney: (looks toward Duncan) More like BROKEN UP.  Noah: (sighs in relief. Both of his arms are in casts) At least I won't have anymore broken limbs courtesy of my own team. (steps away from Alejandro) Alejandro: (glares at Noah. Duncan is glaring at Noah too)  Gwen: (towards Noah) You're still a Triple A.  Noah: Thanks. ---> Ezekiel: What's a triple a?  Bridgette: Wait....where's in Niagara Falls? Courtney: It's gorgeous!  Chris: Guess what! MARRIAGE! (shoves boys in slot machine)  Duncan: AH! Jeez, McLean! (We're rushing this....:/)  Chef: (walks out wearing a skirt) I'll be a girl to even things out. Chris: Allow me to slow down... Today we're celebrating marriage. Chris: And by doing so, our challenge is to hook each of you up with your husband or bride to be.  Gwen: We're sixteen. Can you do that?  Chris: You will complete the challenge together. Together... in matrimoney. Chris: Look on the bright side Gwen... whoever Courtney's partner is, they're obliged to raise her baby! (All guys within the slot machine start panicking)  --> Courtney: Marriage? To one of the guys here? Let's recap: Alejandro is a homophobe who took advantage of me and gave me a child, Duncan is a traitor, Noah's gay, and Ezekiel is weird. Not a good output. Courtney: (smirks) Sounds good to me. Chris: Gwen... pull the lever.  Gwen: Alright. (she pulls the lever)  Machine: DING DING DING NOAH! NOAH! NOAH! Gwen: (pulls Noah out of the machine) ....could be worse. (SnarkShipping, called it)  Noah: (sighs) No big complaints. Chris: Courtney... pull the lever.  Courtney: I have a feeling this is going to suck. (pulls)  Machine: DING DING DING DUNCAN DUNCAN DUNCAN  (What about the bear OH MY SHITTAKE) Courtney: (facepalms)  Noah: Courtney's hunchs are very accurate.  Duncan: LETMEBACKINLETMEBACKIN Courtney: (grabs him) Looks like we're together whether you like it or not...  Chris: Bridgette... pull the lever...  Duncan: (gulps) Bridgette: (pulls)  Machine: DING DING DING EZEKIEL EZEKIEL EZEKIEL Bridgette: Hello there, teammate.  Ezekiel: (slides out the machine) Well.. so much for merge, eh.  Chris: Pointless... but Chefina... pull the lever... Chefina: *giggles and pulls lever*  Machine: DING DING DING A**HOLE A**HOLE A**HOLEHANDRO  --> Courtney: (snickers....then laughs out loud) Try to lay THAT, Al!  (Alejandro tumbles out of the machines) ..... Alejandro: Is this my karma? Chefina: Is this a dream?  Gwen: A match made in heaven.  Chris: Now! You will be directing your blindfolded bride to her dress. And then the second challenge will begin. (blindfolds Brides) GO! (there is an obstacle course to the dresses) Noah: (is trying to pick up the megaphone. He can't...)  Courtney: Okay. Since you can't handle a child, let's see if you can handle a bride.  Noah: Uh... I'm not a good yeller... uh.. move right?  Gwen: What was that? (she falls into the pool) UGH!  Ezekiel: Move to tooo tha left, eh! Thaleft!  Bridgette: (moves left. She's good.)  Noah: Sorry... ... what's that pool even filled with? (I forgot tbh) Gwen: I don't know...it's all slimy and stuff.  Alejandro: Chefette... move left...left more... (Chefina is exiting the theater) Keep going left! (Chefina is outside the casino) Now go forward! (Chefina enters a barrel)  Gwen: (gets out of the pool) ...smells sweet. (licks it) It's jelly....(has realization) Oh.  Noah: .... I'm not even shocked anymore...  --> Courtney: Chris....you're a jerk.  Ezekiel: Now mooove right and grab the pretty dress! The one that will look great on yooou!  Bridgette: (moves towards the dress) I feel something! Bridgette: (she has her dress) Di I make it?  Ezekiel: Yyyup!  Gwen: (walking, mumbles) I could care less about the dress....  Noah: (hums the theme) I won't partake in any cake,....  Gwen: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENTAL REFERENCE AND YOU KNOW I-(bumps into the dress)  Noah: Great, we're done. Noah: (looks over at Duncan and Courtney) I wonder how they're doing...  Courtney: (wanders into the cake....she's eating the cake) Duncan: Leave the cake and go to your right!  Ella: (yells from the audience) Think of the baby! Chris: (shushes her) Ella: (shushes him back) -3-  Courtney: (mouth full) My baby wants vanilla icing! Duncan: (rolls his eyes) We're in a competition, MIT! Courtney: (swallows, gasps) Right. (she goes right and walks into her dress) Courtney: Haha! (removes blindfold) ....are we in last place?!  Chris: Three teams have done it! They can go on to win immunity! Al and Chef have lost that chance! ... Where is Chef anyway? (cuts away to a barrel going over Niagara Falls) Chris: So no immunity for you... Al. (Alejandro looks stoic) Courtney: (smirks) No immunity, and everyone hates you? You're screwed.  (Everyone is at Niagara falls over a tightrope. One side has Ella with notecards, the other with the cast) Chris: Carry your spouse to Ella to be wed. GO!  Gwen: (glances at Noah)....You want to be a bride for once?  Noah: By all means. Go ahead. (gets carried)  Gwen: You're pretty light.  Noah: Is this you flirting? Noah: If it is, don't,  Gwen: (rols her eyes) No. You're not even straight. Or my type. Gwen: ....not as if I even have a type.  Noah: I'm NOT G-..... (mumbles angrily) Who the hell keeps spreading that rumor!?  Gwen: Literally everyone. (They begin walking)  ---> Noah: (looks pissed) .... .... I am among the most narcotic, psychotic, egoist, selfish, scumbags on the planet. Think about THAT next time someone asks me to be more open on this show, huh?  Courtney: (to Duncan) If you drop me, everyone will hate you.  Ezekiel: We already do, eh. Ezekiel: (tries picking up Bridgette... can't)  Duncan: Don't worry, Princess Preggy, I'll get a good grip on you. Bridgette: I guess I could carry you, too.  Ezekiel: Thanks, eh.... (Duncan picks up Courtney. Bridgette picks up Zeke.) Courtney: Watch where you put your hands. Duncan: (smiles devilishly) I'll try. Courtney: (gets look of shock) YOU'RE NOT TRYING!  Noah: (glares at Duncan while being carried) Ugh... Gwen... how is it that the biggest jerks in this game seem to always make it the furthest? Noah: I mean... you had to put up with Heather all season. Noah: And... Duncan is just.. the worst!  Gwen: (rolls her eyes) That's how the shows work. It's sad, but the ones who don't care have the most unexpected, manipulative ways of getting ahead.  Noah: He won last season... he's not even willing to spare any money for his pregnant ex? (ok) (Jumbo Jet, Chris' Room. Alejandro is looking through camera footage... he's watching the episode of Newf...)  (back)  Alejandro: Hmm.... (sees something) Huh?.... (looks closer) It appears.. we have our beer cider switcharoo mastermind. (prints a screenshot and laughs) (back to niagara falls)  Gwen: I have no idea what his problem is. I mean, Duncan and I used to be pretty close, actually. We had that whole horror challenge, and the aliens, and when we were on the same team.  Noah: When did he decide to become a grade A jerk***?  Gwen: Probably when he was faced with actually doing something for a change. A kid is a lot of work. Duncan is too type B for that. Gwen: It's dumb, but true.  Noah: Ah. ... Gwen. I'm gonna bring this up with you. And if you confirm this with anyone else, I'll quit this game, move to Siberia, and never be heard from again. Got it? Noah: I'm gay.  Gwen: (smiles) Well, I'm no Al. I'm fine with the LGBT community.  Noah: I'm only telling YOU because despite your negative demenor, you're possibly the only one here with a heart.  Gwen: Thanks. And you're the only other one here with half a brain and any sense.  Noah: And truth be told, I'd rather see Al go today over Duncan. Is that okay?  Gwen: Definitely. I feel the same way. Duncan's the talk of the show, but Alejandro's done too much.  Noah: I feel... if he goes, I can open up to the rest of the cast. Even Duncan, though I won't care what he thinks. (they're arrived)  Gwen: Wow, are we the first here?  Ella: Yes... yes you are. (Bridgette and Ezekiel arrive behind them)  Bridgette: Hey, guys!  Ella: Question time. (looks at the notecards).... hmm?... These aren't questions....!!!  Bridgette: Wait...if they aren't questions....what are they?  Ella: ... These used to be questions. Someone changed them... (grumbles) Chris.... Ella: They're tickets for immunity, and the only way to get them is to... humiliate your spouse? Ella: (facepalms) Too far.  Gwen: (gasps)  Noah: (to Gwen) Not. A. Word.  Gwen: Duncan? His loyalty needs work. Noah is a much better friend. I don't want to betray him! ...but...I don't want to lose. (Duncan and Courtney arrive)  Noah: I don't care about immunity. Not a chance are you gonna stab me in the back. Duncan: (opens his mouth to say something humiliating) (about Courtney)  (fine) Duncan: I could do this all day... Courtney: (kicks him) But you're not GOING to!  Ezekiel: Um... Bridgette.... smells when she doesn't take showers?....  Bridgette: Ezekiel is terrible at embarrasing people.  Ella: ...... Nice try, homeschool.  Duncan: You know, we could have gotten here earlier, but Courtney's only three weeks pregnant and she's already putting on weight! (to Courtney) Quit it with the cake, maybe! Gwne: (to Noah) You going to try and say anything about ME?  Noah: And provoke you...  Gwen: Good choice. I trust you.  Ella: ... Is anyone gonna say anything remotely embaressing I could wait here all day.  Courtney: I will.... (forget what I said earlier, if we keep it PG13 it should be fine XD)  ---> Noah: I hate Duncan. But whatever. He can stay. As long as Al goes home... today. Noah: Let me guess... Duncan has a tiny sausage?  Courtney: No. (blushes) Definitely not. Courtney: I fell for Alejandro because he has insane fantasies about me.  Ezekiel: Doooode! For real?  Duncan: What the- I- I don't think about you like THAT! Not that much, at least!  Courtney: I can't go too far into it because of the censors.  Ella: Go on. (one extremely sexual story later)  Courtney: But according to his accounts, it involves a motorbike, an avacado, and a bullwhip.  Ella: OKAY!!! STOP!!! YOU WIN!!  Gwen: I've had that dream.  Ella: (hands them the tickets) The rest of you are up for elimination... more importantly.. All is up for elimination. Vote WISELY!!!! Elimination (Everyone is sitting at the elimination room)  Gwen: Well, I know who we're voting for. (to Noah)  Noah: About time.  Chris: ...... Cast... you are about to cast another cast member off the plane... you will find your passports in the confessional. Go and v(cut off by Alejandro)  Courtney: WHAT NOW?!  Alejandro: Ladies and gentleman... I have an announcment... well.. more of a revelation. Alejandro: I know who switched the beer and cider on the day of the incident.  Gwen: Oh great. More lies. Bridgette: Is it STILL LeShawna?  Alejandro: (holds up a picture of Ezekiel actually switching the beer and cider) BEHOLD! Chris: Hey! Who let you hack into our cameras? Ezekiel: ..... (gulps)  Gwen: (gasp) Is this legit?  Ezekiel: No... I don't... like to think so....  Duncan: (to Zeke) So this was all YOUR doing, huh?! Courtney: All our misfortunes....traced back to that beer..and it's YOUR fault?  Ezekiel: (pulls his hat over his head) I was... I wasn't trying to hurt nobody. I just wanted to start a party eh! ... I just wanted Bridge to .... Ezekiel: See me more like Geof...  Bridgette: Well, it failed.  Ezekiel: But I didn't know that's what alcohoil did eh! Ezekiel: I never learned aboot that stuff!  Bridgette: You've ruined someone's life. That was pretty low... Courtney: THEN WY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!  Ezekiel: I... just wanted you to like me.... (to Bridgette)  Bridgette: (blushes) That's not how love works. And I have a boyfriend.  Chris: Is this a bad time to start voting?  Duncan: Since when is any time a bad time for you? Chris: True. Now go vote! Chris: (everyone has voted) Time for the barf bags... Chris: Duncan and Courtney. (tosses them barg bags) Chris: Noah and Gwen. (tosses them barf bags)  (They take their bags, ticked at each other) (Gwen smiles and gets her bag)  (Noah smirks slightly and catches his bag) Chris: .... Bridgette. (tosses)  (Bridgette, nervous, catches the bag)  (Alejandro looks back at everyone, receiving many glares... Noah almost looks giddy seeing this) Ezekiel: (pulls his hat over his eyes) Chris: ... The final barf bag goes to... . . . . .  Bridgette: ....(whispered) sorry...  Chris: Al. Ezekiel: (deeply sighs) ... Eh... better than season 1... (takes his parachute and walks towards the door. He turns around)  Bridgette: Wait....Zeke...(looks to the camera) Bridgette: Sorry Geoff. I mean nothing by this.  Ezekiel: Bridge. II'm sorry. I'll tell Geoff you said h(cut off by what Bridgette does)  Bridgette: I'm sorry for eliminating you. Al really should have gone. I guess I was just feeling pretty crappy. Bridgette: So I'll give you this...(pecks him on the nose)  Ezekiel: (turns bright red... and passes out from lovestruck... out the plane door)  Bridgette: There. Now you don't have to intoxicate anyone anymore. (DAWWWWwhydididothat)  Chris: (laughs) Still sucks to be Zeke... and sucks to be the rest of you. MORE pain on the way here on TOTAL DRAMA GURL TOUR!